Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Slipping into my Snippy Pants

Ok, I tried to write a post about Panera’s impressive customer service. I actually had quite a bit of material…but it’s just not where my mind and heart are at right now. So instead, I’m going to regale you with a pissy post about how life is so unfair. Boohoo.

I would like, very much to go back to Mexico. Or maybe to the Bahamas. Or maybe Hawaii. Just…some place tropical, okay? And I realize I just sound like a two year old stamping my foot…because I was just in Mexico! I had an incredible honeymoon there! I couldn’t have asked for anything more. Except, you know, here I am…not so much “asking” as throwing myself into a fully body tantrum, begging! I’ve already proved to you how selfish I can be with my Vera Bradley ranty nonsense, so let’s just emblazon that horrible persona a little deeper into my flesh. Here, I’ll help you light the fire!

I want to go back to Mexico, now. Right now. And I am very, very frustrated at the fact that I may literally never get to take a trip like that again. I’m struggling with justifying spending money on a long weekend in Grand Haven for birthday celebrations later this summer, let alone an all inclusive vacation in the tropics. Heck, I’m struggling with justifying spending any extra money on grocery shopping this evening for a specially requested dinner by Dorian. Macaroni and hot dogs, folks. The man asked for macaroni and hotdogs. And I am more than happy to oblige. Thrilled! In fact. But it does require groceries that are not already in our cupboards…and I’m struggling with the justification.

I just. Wish. Money wasn’t so fracking limited. I knooooowwwww I’m singin’ to the choir here. Oh yes, two year old stamping my foot. That’s right. But I don’t care. I’m indulging in my selfish tantrum and you can just deal with it….or roll your eyes at me. That’s fine, too. I just would love to have an opportunity to take another trip that was that extravagant…to know that it could possibly happen. It would be amazing to even be able to do our trip over, but with the experience of already having done it. We would be able to do a few things differently and possibly enjoy things that much more!

I’m truly driving myself nuts with my own selfishness. I think I might just be struggling a little bit extra right now with hearing about other people’s trips, plans, etc. And then to just rub salt granules the size of baseballs into my gaping wound, my company just announced the recipients of an all inclusive, all expense paid trip to Rivierra Maya. A trip that I didn’t have a crazy shot in hell at. My job is completely low profile. Even if I worked my butt off every single day for the next 3 years, I wouldn’t be noticed. I just don’t have a position with any kind of recognition capabilities. My boss recognizes me and appreciates my work, but not in the mentality of “hey! she’s worked hard enough to get to go on this incredible vacation!” oh no. Believe me. It’s a pretty male dominated favorability in this company. And I, clearly, do not fit in that category.

So just, bah! You know what? I’m going to post this because I wrote it and it is truly how my mind was working…but I already am regretting letting my pettiness get as far as it did. Dorian and I both have wonderfully stable jobs. We are hugely blessed to have a double income that we can count on. I’m more blessed, than I know how to wrap my mind around, to know that I can go to the grocery store tonight to pick up a couple things just because my baby wants them. It might not “fit” into our budget, but we have the money to cover it, for sure. And not many people can even say that. This is what I’m going to do: I’m going to absolutely require myself to write a post that is composed of nothing but the things I’m thankful for. And if that post isn’t longer than this one? I’ve certainly got some humbling soul searching to do. What are you thankful for today?

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